Always Your Love: A Gothic Regency Romance by St. Clair Ellie

Author:St. Clair, Ellie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Prairie Lily Press
Published: 2021-02-04T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Edmund knew he had said the wrong thing.

But what was he supposed to tell her? He could hardly admit to how much he had desired her, how the thought of marriage to her had not been as objectionable as marriage to any other. For that would be opening himself up to her, leaving him exposed to the rejection that was sure to follow.

“Why…” he didn’t want to ask, and yet he needed to know, “why did you marry me?”

She laughed humorlessly as she stood, wrapping her arms around herself as though she was still chilled, the blanket that he had given her lying discarded on the floor.

“I’ve always done what I was supposed to,” she said, looking down, her voice bitter. “Hannah, the good one. Hannah, who always did what was right. My sister, Juliet, she was the rebellious one. It was not a surprise when she ran off with the footman. It was only the latest and greatest scandal. My parents were embarrassed, of course, and despaired for my own marriage. I was never consulted on what I would like. It didn’t matter. Then my father worked out an arrangement with yours, and it was apparently all taken care of, until your brother’s indiscretion.”

She appeared wistful, as she looked up at his bookshelves, at his great-uncle’s portrait, out the window – everywhere but at him.

“I wish I could be more like her – my sister. She was rebellious, yes, but she was always so happy. She did what she wanted and didn’t care about the consequences. Whereas I… I was always so worried about doing the right thing, about being the good girl, about not being contrary. It was almost as though I lived to make up for my sister.”

She sighed and looked up at the timbers above her, as though imploring the heavens for an answer.

But unfortunately, the only one here to speak to her was him.

“And now you’re here. With me.”

“I am,” she said, turning to him now, tilting her head as her voice turned contemplative.

“Do you ever wonder… if this is how it is meant to be? If everything happens for a reason?”

“Absolutely not,” he said. “That cannot be the case. Not after what I’ve seen.”

She nodded slowly.

“Why do you hide yourself here from the world?” she asked.

“Is it not obvious?” he asked dryly, wondering why she would even need to question it.

“I don’t believe it is because of your scars,” she said and he stiffened at her analysis of him. “At least, not those on your face. What are you scared of?”

“I am scared of nothing.”

“Of rejection?” she continued, as though he hadn’t said anything. “Why do the opinions of those you do not even know matter so much?”

“It is not those that I do not know,” he said gruffly, “but those that I do. When I returned from war… do you know how many of my former acquaintances, people I called friends, no longer wanted to have anything to do with me?

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